


I Swear He Didn't Look Dead!

by May_Flowers



Series: Izuku's Many Failed Relationships [2]
Category: Bleach, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: And really Ichigo should know better, Ichigo is Deadish, M/M, Uraraka Ochako is a Good Friend, there is no tasteful way to ask someones status of living on the first date, this is probably Urahara's fault, this isn't Izuku's fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23853370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/May_Flowers/pseuds/May_Flowers
Summary: Izuku is willing to admit he might need to get a better vetting process for his future relationships. But! He is certain that Ichigo is totally and completely normal. He even checked the Wanted list this time.
Relationships: Iida Tenya & Midoriya Izuku & Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Izuku & Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Izuku/Kurosaki Ichigo
Series: Izuku's Many Failed Relationships [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718887
Comments: 9
Kudos: 234





	I Swear He Didn't Look Dead!

This time, Ochako is sure that she’s the only one who notices Deku’s new relationship, Shouto and Tenya haven’t even looked slightly suspicious. 

Ever since his last disastrous break up, he and Tsunayoshi both had cried a river it was horrible. Then the series of threats from his ex boyfriend's underworld connections Izuku seemed to be keeping a tighter hold on his affections. She should have known it would never last. He’s way too soft for that. 

Still he was a big boy, well, he had called her in a panic about a spider last week but still. She’d let this play out, she decided. Worst case scenario she had to buy him ice cream and listen to him sobbing about having to try to arrest another boyfriend. Ugh, he had gone through four pints of chocolate ice cream last month, more than even Yaoyorozu had after her hamster died. 

* * *

Unlike last time, she hasn't received any lunch invitations. Even though, based on his rate of sappy sighs per hour she’d put him at an, at least, two month old relationship. His ratio of sigh to hour usually peaked at about five in a three month relationship and then steadily decreased as the weeks passed, only spiking around holidays, birthdays, and unexpected gifts. 

Whatever, he’s probably just busy and cautious. After all, he’d endured some relentless mocking from their classmates after his _crime boss_ ex was exposed.

Ochako still had no idea how they’d all missed that. Even Shouto hadn’t suspected anything and he’s usually the voice of paranoia for everything. Damn Tsuna’s unusually fluffy hair, it’d hidden all his secrets. 

Speaking of busy she needed to find something to occupy her time. Apparently trying to patrol while having a sprained ankle was ‘irresponsible’ and ‘prime Deku like behavior’, it’s not like she’d shattered any of her bones so that was a completely baseless accusation.

Maybe cold cases? Yeah, those were usually good for a few hour distraction that she could pass off as work.

* * *

‘Wow, the 2010s sure had been a busy time when it came to unsolved deaths.’ 

She flipped through the files, barely glancing before moving on to the next. _Crushed by an anvil, conveniently placed staircase, gun shot, crushed by a piano, fell off a cliff_ \- Had someone been recreating Looney Toons?- _no apparent cause, gun s-_ wait did that say no apparent cause? 

She pulled out the file; Kurosaki Ichigo (huh poor guy must have had so many fruity puns), age 22, orange hair and brown eyes. Found sitting on a park bench without any evident physical damage, in fact seemed to be in the prime of life and exceptionally healthy. Maybe it had been early quirk usage? Someone killed him or he had accidently killed himself?

Izuku loved these kinds of mysteries and seeing the first examples of quirks. Maybe she'll call him in? The more she thought about it the more the idea appealed. He was on injury enforced leave too and this might finally give her a chance to meet his new boytoy. 

She pulled out her phone and hit his contact.

“Moshi Moshi.” Chimed her best friend’s slightly distracted voice. 

“Hey Izuku! Have you had a chance to check out any cold cases recently” Ooh, based on the sounds in the background something was cooking. Maybe she could score an invite? His curry was to die for. “I found one from 2012 that might be an example of early quirk usage.”

“Nope, I’ve been busy at home. Can you give me the facts? Why don’t you come over for dinner and we can talk about it here.” Yes, please. She grabbed her coat and made for the precinct’s door. “Actually there's someone I’ve been wanting you to meet.”

Finally, she’d get to meet the mystery man and score a home cooked meal. 

She continued as she jumped in the train bound for Izuku’s block, “Well a healthy 22-year-old man died on a park bench without any signs of physical trauma. In fact, the coroner who did the autopsy commented that the man was in fantastic shape. I’m thinking it might have been someone with a death quirk, or maybe Kurosaki had some kind of quirk that resulted in death?”

“Wait did you say Kurosaki?” He sounded a little shaken, maybe he knew one of his relatives? 

“Yeah, Kurosaki Ichigo,” Well that was a loud gasp, “174cm, orange hair, brown eyes. Two younger sisters, Karin and Yuzu, and a widowed father. Sound familiar?”

She waited, “Izuku? Deku? Did you hang up?”

* * *

Izuku slowly put down his phone and fixed his smile back on his face.

“Hey Ichigo?” he called out.

There was a moment's pause and then his boyfriend’s voice returned from the living room. “Yes?”

“Weird question, but do you have any uncles or an older cousin that you're named after?” Please say yes, please say yes. A crime boss was bad enough, if he was dating a ghost he’d never hear the end of it. Or at least all his birthday presents this year would be holy water.

Ichigo didn’t answer right away but admittedly that was a weird question to ask out of the blue, “No?” He even sounded confused.

Oh god, oh god, he was going to need a priest to come bless his apartment. His landlady was going to raise his rent because HE’D INTRODUCED A HAUNTING! Denki was going to faint, and Kacchan was going to try to blast him sky high, and Shouto was going to set up camp in his living room with a spray bottle of holy water.

Worst of all, his mother might try to guilt him into letting her introduce him to someone. He refuses, to this day, to let that happen again.

**Author's Note:**

> You do not want to know how many times I typed Urahara instead of Uraraka and then finally caved to Ochako. Also, feel free to comment on your nomination for the next ill fated relationship; male or female.


End file.
